date night

Today they removed the high flow nose cannula and replaced it with a regular oxygen cannula.  They moved her feeding tube from her mouth to her nose so her mouth is free from all tubes.  As you can see she's not sure what to do with nothing in her mouth so she has  found her fingers. For the next month there hopefully will not be a lot of change.  We are just waiting for her to learn how to digest her food, then try to use a bottle, then gain weight.  Once she can do all of that successfully we will talk to the cardiologist about time lines for her 2nd heart surgery then we will hopefully get to take her home.

When the nurse told me she would still be in the hospital for a month my heart sank.  I thought it was just another week.  I can do another week of this crazy schedule, i don't know if i can do another month.    That means Mike will have to go on a business trip before Capri gets out of the hospital.  Bad things happen when Mike goes on business trips.  When i was 19 weeks pregnant i thought I had food poisoning.  Mike was in California so i called my best friend to bring me to the ER.  After a night full of MRIs ultra sounds and CT scans i found out i had appendicitis and was going into surgery.  Mike was on a reservation in the middle of no where with no cell phone service.  He found out i was having surgery through a Facebook message.  Fast forward 17 weeks later and i was back in the ER thinking i had a pulmonary embolism while Mike was in Boston.  That is the day we found out about Capris heart.  I am not looking forward to business trips.

Mike got to the hospital and could tell i was overwhelmed.  We asked his dad to keep the kids overnight so we could go on a date.  Its been a long time since we have gone on a date just the two of us.  We went to city creek and walked around looking at all of the shops.  Then we went to dinner and reminisced about our lives together.  From the first day we met to spending everyday together for the first 2 weeks we knew each other.  Old love notes we used to write each other to cheap dates where all we could afford was boones farm and a blockbuster movie.

 Finding out we were having a baby with a heart condition was the hardest thing I have ever done.  Knowing this however has brought Mike and I so much closer together.  Its not like we did not have a good marriage before, we love each other very much, but having 2 toddlers, 2 careers and trying to fit in time together you tend to just drift apart.  Finding time to spend together just got pushed lower and lower on our list of things to do until it got so far down that it just didn't happen anymore.  We needed to work on the yard, he was gone on business trips every other week, I was busy teaching the kids all of the stuff you teach toddlers and was so engulfed in my job and worried that the clients i care so deeply for were not getting the attention they needed.  It wasn't that we loved each other any less, life just got in the way.
Capri helped us to remember why we fell in love.  How important it is to keep working on our marriage and making sure that our family comes first.  Contrary to our HOAs belief, life will go on if we have a few weeds in our yard, or i don't mow it every week.

So heres to waiting and letting our baby grow while we grow at home.. Its time to come up with a new routine and not be living one day at a time.  We need to find some organization in our new hectic lives and find out the best options for all of us.