5 weeks

5 weeks ago, at about this time I was alone in an emergency room begging doctors to tell me what was wrong with my baby.  I remember laying my head down on the pillow trying to decide if i should call Mike who was in Boston and let him know.  He was coming home the next day, maybe i should just tell him when he gets here so he doesnt have to worry.  I read through my first couple of blogs tonight, it seems like that was a lifetime ago.  This has been the longest month of my life.  We have been through so many ups and downs I still feel like my head is spinning.  In the last week however we have had so much good news that I feel like things are looking up.

Today I spent the afternoon with Capri.  I held her all afternoon, just cuddling, breathing her in, holding her tight.  We found out today that she has thrush (a yeast infection in her mouth) most likely caused by the antibiotics I was on for the mastitis.  Having an infection in your mouth does not make it very enjoyable to intake any food.  The hope is that when the thrush is cleared up she will take a bottle without a problem.  She did breast feed for almost 5 minutes so we are slowly progressing.   Her liver function still hasn't improved any but they are hoping that once she gets to full feedings and off the lipids her liver will fix itself.

We had a local LDS church contact us and ask if they could help us out.  Mike and I are not very religious people.  We have become much more spiritual since all of this has happened but we do not go to any sunday services for any one church.  I have such a hard time when people ask me what they can do to help.  Asking for help is very hard for me.  I want to be able to fix everything on my own.  My neighbor and mother stepped in and let them know that yes we could use help.  Tonight, while we were at the hospital they came over and cleaned our house.  They also left a weeks worth of freezer meals for us.  We feel so blessed to have a community come together and help us out.  As much as I don't like asking for help it is needed and very much appreciated.  I have a stack of thank you cards sitting by my bed that i need to write to all of the wonderful people who have helped us.  I keep thinking i will have time to sit down and write them but just like with everything else, there are not enough hours in the day.  So for now I want to thank all of you who have sent us flowers, brought us gift baskets, helped us financially through our donation site, cleaned our house, helped us with hotel costs, mowed our lawn and made us dinner.  We are so blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people.