numb

I hate this numb feeling.  I feel like I am in slow motion while everyone else is in fast forward.  Capris right lung keeps collapsing and until they can get her to lose more fluid its going to keep happening.  We were supposed to take her breathing tube out Friday, then Saturday, now hopefully tomorrow.  I just feel like we are at a stand still and I know that I need to be patient and she just had a MAJOR surgery and things take time but today I just feel hopeless.  I want her to wake up and to heal and to get better.  Its so hard being in this limbo never knowing what kind of day she is going to have.  I don't think I can handle any more stress. I need you to wake up baby.  I want to see you awake and kiss you and hold you.  I want to get out of this fog and know that things are going to be okay.  I hate this feeling