turning the corner

Today was a good day

We took Capri downstairs today for a scan to check her diaphragm.  They wanted to make sure that it wasn't paralyzed during surgery which would cause the breathing issues.  When we took her down they unhooked her from the ventilator and just used a bag to help her breath.  We had her monitors on the bed with us to make sure that her SATS were okay.  She was breathing on her own and staying at 100%.  Every 30 seconds or so the respitory therapist would give her an extra breath  but besides that she was breathing.  She wasn't sucking in her chest, her nose wasn't flailing she was calm.  Once we got into the Xray room they quickly transferred beds and took the scans.  Everything looks great!  Her diaphragm is doing just what it is supposed to. 
As we brought her upstairs I got a phone call from the Ronald McDonald house, they had a room available for me. I put my name on the list around a week and a half ago I am so grateful they have a room.  $15 a night instead of $138 is going to make a big difference.  I jumped on the shuttle to the hotel and quickly packed my things.  I am sad to be leaving here though, the front desk people have been my "family" for the last 3 weeks.  They all know me by name and ask about Capri  as soon as I get back at night.  The shuttle driver is the same.  I have been here for so long now that its kind of like these people are my friends.  They are really the only people I communicate with besides nurses and doctors. 

I got to the Ronald McDonald house and went through the tour of everything.  It is a beautiful 3 story home with kitchens and laundry rooms and play rooms.  They have activities every night to help your stay not be so lonesome.  Seeing all of the other children around makes me miss my kiddos.  A little girl fell and bumped her head today in the cafeteria and my heart latterly ached for her.  I could feel it beating harder and I wanted to just go scoop her up.  I am so much more sensitive to things now.  I have always had the mentality of "well when you fall you will rub it in and figure out how to not do it next time.  Buck up kiddo you'll be okay"  Now the only thing I want to do is hold and cuddle them.  Tell them that its going to be okay and I will take all the pain away, whether that be a bump on the head or a 3 inch incision from open heart surgery.  Let me take your pain away.  Let me make you better.

The rest of the afternoon we started getting rid of things.  We took out Capris chest tube!  It was so clogged with stuff it wasn't doing any good anyways.  We took out her catheter and we took out the IV in her hand (although it went bad and her hand was bruised and swollen so that one wasn't really a positive).  When I held her this afternoon we were able to pick her up with just me and her nurse.  We didn't need our army of people to watch all of the lines and tubes.  Slowly but surely she is getting better.  We are going to get through this.