Monday, February 10, 2014

A weekend away

A weekend away from electronics.  Playing with my babies and spending time with my husband..  It was just what I needed to know that I was strong enough to keep going and everything was going to be alright.


 We had so much fun at the mall of america.  We spent the whole day riding every ride and letting the kids do whatever they wanted!  My mom was with Capri so i knew she was in good hands and I let myself just be in the moment and forget about all of the other worries.  Ashton and I did a ropes course together where he climbed 4 stories and walked across tiny boards with no fear.  I was so proud of him as i was walking behind him trying to get my legs to stop shaking so i wouldn't fall. Baylee wanted to go to barbie land all day but when it was finally time to go we found out it doesn't open up until the following week.  she kept throwing pennies in the wishing pond wishing for the store to open so she could go try on barbies clothes and see the dream house :( Instead we found the disney store and she bought 2 princess barbies and tried on princesses dresses.
 We stayed up late everynight watching youtube videos and singing "call me maybe" and "carry on" over and over again.  We talked about when mom was going to come home and where they were going to be staying for the next few weeks.  Baylee asked if we could just fly home tonight so she could sleep in her bed.  Ashton kept asking if we could please just get capri and bring her with us.  It was so nice to be together but a big hole was still there.  We need our baby C.

Sorry for the sideways picture, i cant figure out how to turn it.. thats what my IT husband is for.  Today it is back to reality.  Mike left Rochester at 12 with a heavy heart.  I get so caught up in my own stress that i forget how hard this is on  him.  He comes home to an empty house everynight.  He needs to be at work to concentrate and make sure that he is getting all of his tasks done while still worrying about his baby girl.  It was so great to have him out here even if it was only for a few days.  Daddys make everything better.   My mom and the kids left around 3 and now it is just me and Capri.  She did a swallow study today to see if we could start feeding her, unfortunatly though, she failed.  As she drank the liquid her vocal cords didnt close and the fluid went into her lung. She didnt cough or move or do anything.  If we gave her a regular bottle she would aspirate and we wouldnt know until it was too late.

The ICU doctor came in to discuss a plan.  "Capri is just barely treading water.  She is in no way out of the woods, We are still at a point where she could be re-intubated and still need a trachea"  I hate mondays because its a new doctor and they are just learning about capris case. Monday doctors always seem more worried about her stability.  After a few days they seem to be less concerned.  I hope that this is the case this week.
Because of both of these issues we will still be in Rochester for awhile.  She is thinking the end of February to the beginning of march.  We are going to be a fourth of the way into the new year and have only spent 4 days at home.  I hope that this week she will rest and her vocal cord will heal and next week she will have a much more positive outlook.
With all of this i am so grateful that these setbacks are all temporary.  We have not had to deal with anything that is going to be a permanent problem.  She eventually will heal.  It is taking a lot longer than we had hoped but this isnt something we will need to deal with for her entire life.  We can do this!