Thursday, December 9th
I woke up around 4am scared i had missed a call from the ICU. After collecting my thoughts and being blinded from my phone light i realized i had no missed callls. i spent the rest of the morning tossing and turning waiting for Mike to wake up and attempting to try to sleep a little bit longer. finally it was 730 and Mike got up to say good morning to Capri and head off to work.
I spent the morning cuddling with Capri singing her songs and telling her how much I loved her. Thursday is Parent lunch day in the ICU. They provide lunch, teach a little lesson and then let the parents each talk about there child. I love these days because i can meet the other parents and feel less alone. Before I left I asked the nurse if we could suction out capris nose with the thought that maybe thats why her oxygen was going down. We sucked quite a bit of secretions out then we watched her turn blue. I held my breath and looked up at the monitor.. damnitt we put her into SVT. She is so sensitive getting her even the slightest bit angry throws her into an episode. The nurse called Dr. Pilcher to come and shock her. While we waited we tried to use ice but had no luck. When Dr. Pilcher arrived he came with a large machine. It looked like it was from the 20s. When he brought it into the room he asked the nurse for 12C batteries. There was silence and then we all started laughing at the thought of having to use a machine to shock capri that used batteries because it was so old it didnt have a plug. They put a wire down her nose and into her esophagus. The machine was called a pacer. Instead of shocking her through her chest that sent electrical waves through her entire body, this machine shocks her from the inside only affecting her heart. They turned some dials waited for a beeping sound and pushed in some buttons. I really felt like i was in the 50s. they shocked her and she just laid there sleeping. Her body didnt move she didnt scream in pain. It also didnt work... They upped the voltage and tried again. It worked. She was okay. After she was stable I went to the parent lunch in just in time for it to be over :) I did meet to amazing families that I have been able to talk to everyday since then and follow there journeys as well.
Later that day Capri was really struggling with her oxygen. She kept dipping into the 70s and her lips would turn blue. I was holding her and noticed she had turned very purple. I told the nurse as I was putting her back in bed that something was wrong, she was purple. Another nurse overheard me and grabbed the respitory therapist. shortly there after they called the charge nurse and doctor. Before i knew it the room was flooded with people. her Nose was flairing and her chest was sucking in with every breath. She couldnt breathe. Everyone had there stethascopes listening to her chest. I slowly backed up to the door of her room. What is happening? Why cant she breathe? They switched her from her regular oxygen to a high flow cannula. when that didnt help they put her on a CPAP. Xray came by and took a picture of her lungs. They were concerned her lung had collapsed.
Looking at the xray though her lungs looked fine. Dr. Eric informed me that if they didnt see improvements shortly they would have to put a tube down her throat and have a machine breathe for her. Again my world went fuzzy and everything started happening in slow motion. Why cant she breathe? Her lungs are fine. Shes not sick. What is happening?
After a few minutes she started to stabalize and turn pink. Thank you God, I dont want a breathing tube. We are going a thousand steps backwards. My healthy baby is going down hill and fast.
The rest of the day was kind of a blur. With the breathing machine it was hard to hold her. She has so many tubes everywhere. When Mike got there he wanted to hold her and the nurse was busy. I was pretty confident i could hand her to him because i had done it several times for myslef. I had him sit in the rocking chair as I gathered all of her cords. I was mainly worried about the CPAP because it has two big hoses that come unhooked pretty easy. I lifted her and the cords and set everything in Mikes arms. Suddenly Mike started squirming and just kept saying Kendra! Kendra! I looked down and there was blood everywhere. Capri has an IV in her right hand, left arm and left foot. i had the 2 on the left but forgot about the one on the right and ripped it completely out. I put her back in the crib but the blood had soaked all of her blankets and was all over her! The doctor was right by the room so he ran in and after laughing at me, finished pulling it out and bandaged her up. I just explained to him that she was tired of 3 IVs and so being a good mom, I took one out for her. :) After we got her cleaned up she put her hand in her mouth and smiled. She was happy to have a free hand again.