Tuesday, August 20, 2013


A and B had there first day of preschool today.  I have been prepping them for months, helping them to be excited about school and not afraid.  This morning A had a small meltdown worried about me leaving him there alone.  When we got to school though they both ran into their classrooms and started playing.  Neither one had a second thought about mom or dad.  I left the school got to the parking lot, looked at Mike and burst into tears.  This was not an emotion I was expecting.  I was so worried about their feelings that I never processed how I would feel.  Both of my babies are growing up.  School has started and wont end for the next 15 years. Then they leave for college.. I am not ready for this.  I love having them home with me, they help distract me from the other things going on in my life.  They loved preschool and were so excited to tell me about their day.  Preschool will be a great thing for them and they will learn so much.  The structure of going to school 2 days a week will help them to feel a sense of normalcy so even though its hard for me, I am so grateful we are able to send them to such a great school.

When we got to the NICU Vicky asked me if I had talked to the nurse practitioner.  I had a voicemail from her but hadn't listened to it sense I was at the hospital.  She informed that a blood culture had come back from Capri's nose that tested positive for methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus.  Its a really long name for what seems like a pretty minor problem.  Its a bacteria in her nose that cant be killed by normal antibiotics such as penicillin.  Because she is in the NICU with babies all around her that have immune issues she was moved to an isolation room and will stay there for the rest of her stay at the hospital.  It is a little glass box in a room with no windows and no other babies.  The positive side of having to move to isolation is she will have a nurse all to herself from now on and it will be much more quiet.
She also had an echo today that looked very promising.  Last weeks echo the cardiologists were pretty sure Capri would need surgery very soon in order to live.  After being on viagra for a few days her valves have opened up and the blood is flowing through the pulmonary valve again instead of backing up into the right atrium.  I asked Dr. Grey if that meant we aren't looking at surgery until she is at least a  year old.  He said no, it means she doesn't need surgery tomorrow.  We still have a long way to go but today, this week she looks good.  They also took her off of her IV fluids today which is a huge step.  If she does well on full feeds of breast milk and can gain 2/3 of an ounce a day the hope is that she will get to come home at the end of September.  Today is 8 weeks of being in the hospital, hopefully 4 more weeks and we can get out of there.
4 more weeks... I can do 4 more weeks...