Dec 20th surgery phone call

Dec 20th- day before surgery.  I sent the girls to there papas today and kept A to help me run errands to finish getting the last minute stuff done before the fundraiser.  Its been a long time since A and I have gotten to hang out just the 2 of us.  We stopped at Kneeders to pick up the french toast for tomorrow and got a gingerbread man for a treat.  He was so excited to get to pick whatever he wanted and not have to share with his sister.  I love when we get to have 1 on 1 time.  Next we went to Harmons to go and pick up 40 pounds of sausage.  As i pulled into the parking lot I got a phone call from 801-662-..... Why would primary's be calling me?  I answered and heard Dr. Cowley on the other line.  He didn't waste anytime and let me know that he had talked to Dr. Dearani at the mayo clinic and he wanted to get Capri in as soon as possible.  He classified her as "failure to thrive" and said she needs the surgery now.  He gave me a phone number and told me to call the Mayo clinic to set up a date in February.
As I hung up the phone, I was heart broken.  I knew she needed the surgery but I wanted so badly to celebrate her 1st birthday first.  She will only be 8 months old.  That is SO small.  What if her heart isn't strong enough to survive the surgery?  How am I going to do this? Im not ready yet.

I called the Mayo and scheduled for February 25th.  We wanted to make sure the surgery wasn't close to A's birthday.  If all goes as planned and she heals quickly we will be out there for 2 1/2 weeks.

I spent the rest of the day breaking down, crying every time I thought about the surgery and calling friends and family to let them know it was scheduled.  As we were in a grocery store the cashier asked why we needed so many eggs. told her about capri and A said "mom, are you going to start crying again, really?? haha little stinker!

He's right though, why am I crying?  I knew this surgery was coming.  We knew from the beginning it was going to be risky.  So she is going to be smaller than we had hoped.  Nothing we can do now except try to get her to grow.  Hope for another miracle and soak up every second we have with her.