1st ambulance trip

A was so worried about Capri going in the ambulance.  On the car ride after  as tears fell from his face he told me he saw a man on the bed with his eyes close and the emts put him in an ambulance and he was dead.  So that meant that capri was going to die since she had to go in the ambulance.  He loves his little sister so much i couldn't ask for a better son. 

watching my baby get into an ambulance and drive away without me was one of the hardest things i have done so far.  I just want to always be there to protect her, to make her feel safe.

I was so drained emotionally and physically last night that i didn't write.  It was one of our more adventurous days.  On my way to pick up A and B from preschool Capris cardiologist called addressing some concerns I had about her.  He agreed they were worry some and told me to head into the ER and have her checked out.  All 3 kids an I headed over to riverton IHC to get carpi checked out while my best friend sat with me once again in a hospital emergency room.  After doing X-rays the doctor let me know that she had fluid on her lungs and in her pulmonary valve.  "It does look like she might be in heart failure, I think we need to take her via ambulance to primary's to do further tests".  I had the other kids with me and Chelsy had left to go to work so I wasn't able to ride in the ambulance with her.  Her first ride with EMTS and she had to do it alone.  I rushed A and B to their papas and drove way to fast to primary childrens.  When I got there I could hear Capri crying from down the hall. Her little tiny scream broke my heart, she must be so scared.  I got to the room and held her until she stopped crying.  The doctors came in one after another, EKG, Blood work, echo.  Watching her oxygen monitor dip into the low 80s.  Im so scared she cant be in heart failure.. We are doing surgery in a few months and then she will be all better.  Her heart has to make it until next spring.  She is too little to do surgery right now.  After what seemed like days the cardiologist came back to the room letting us know that her echo came back "ok".  It wasn't good but it wasn't bad.  We need to keep a close eye on her and increase her diarrhetic.  Her body retains fluid so the lassie helps push out any unnecessary fluid.  We doubled her up on that and will watch and see how she does.

This morning Dr. Cowley called me again to let me know the results of her holter monitor were in.  We hooked her up to an EKG for 24 hours to monitor her heart spikes.  The results showed that she is having small episodes of SVT all day long.  We will increase another one of her meds and again.. watch and see.

On top of everything, today my grandmother came to down to get some tests done at Huntsman cancer center.  After a day full of poking and prodding they diagnosed her with ovarian cancer.  She will need to do a stress test on her heart tomorrow to make sure she is strong enough to handle surgery and if all goes well she will go in for a full hysterectomy Tuesday morning.  If you have ever met my grandmother you know that she is the spunkiest tell you how it is no fluff kind of person.  There is never a dull moment when Buba is around.  Whether its sitting at a restaurant watching her threaten to dump a glass of water down your shirt because you are on your phone, to really starting a food fight in the middle of that restaurant because her brother was being a turd.  I love every moment i get to spend with her and i can not imagine my life with out her.  I know i have asked all of you for so much over the last few months and I would be lying if i said this was the last time I was going to need help but if you have a free second to send a good vibe, think a good thought or say a little prayer to keep my grandma safe and to have this be a type of cancer she can beat I would be so grateful.  I need my grandma around for a long time.  She needs to be here to watch my kids get married and tell there significant others embarrassing stories.  She is too good of a person to leave this earth right now.  I need her for my sanity so please.. if you have a few good vibes just laying around please send them our way.