Monday, September 2, 2013

one day at a time

Capri has been home for 4 days now.  We have been so involved in getting her schedule straight and figuring out how to make everything work that I haven't been on to write about how wonderful being home is.  We have spent the whole weekend holding, cuddling and loving our little baby.  Along with the great feeling of having her home their has for sure been many trials.  The first night here she only slept for about 2 hours.  She threw bile up 5 times and went through every blanket we owned.  She takes medications at 8am, 12pm, 4pm, 8pm, 12am, 4am, and 6am.  I was so worried that I was going to forget a med, or not wake up on time that I slept very little that first night.  Saturday was much better.  Capri was happy all day and Mike and I took shifts throughout the night.  Mike slept downstairs with her from 12-4 so that I could get 4 uninterrupted hours of sleep then I stayed on the couch from 4-8.

Sunday was B's birthday.  My baby girl isn't a baby anymore.  She ran downstairs first thing in the morning to let us know she was  a 3 year old now.  She was a big girl.  We spent the day playing with each other, staying off phones, internet, electronics.  That night my aunt, uncle, cousin and his wife came by to meet Capri.  They were in town bringing honey from our hometown.  It was so great to have family here and feel normal again.  That night we had a small birthday party with family and close friends.  Normally I stress about parties, wanting every detail to be just right.  I overspend on food and decorations and end up getting upset because everything isn't perfect.  Last night though I ordered a pizza and made a cake.  We had a few decorations that B had picked out a few weeks back and we just spent the time visiting.  No stress, no overplaying, just relaxing.  It was great.  Stressing is way overrated.
Last night we put Capri in our room to see how she would do.  She slept until 6, was upset until 7 then slept until 9.  She is getting used to being home and everything is getting back to normal.  We had family dinner at the table every night except sunday.  I can not remember the last time we had dinner all together that wasn't at a restaurant.
I still am crazy stressed and afraid I am going to miss something.  I check her temperature every few hours to make sure she is not to hot or to cold.  I have her med list written down in my phone, in her binder and on a white board in the kitchen, i triple check every med i give her afraid I am going to do something wrong.  I have tubes all over my house and am constantly worrying that someone is going to trip over them or that the oxygen tube will get kinked in a door and I wont know.  I hope that as we move forward things will become more normal and not quite as scary.  Right now we are just taking things one day at a time.